To take a chance with something new. I am tired of the routine that has suddenly taken place with what I thought could be a good thing. It saddens me, and causes a tired to wash over my bones, making me sleepy. I wanted so much for this to be the good thing that would happen for me, the one thing I could look forward to, but each day it becomes more of a chore. I can’t tell whether it is me or not. I try and make it happen, which is hard for me, because I have never been able to make this kind of thing happen, but without your help, I will continue to fail. I must cut the chains, or allow you to unlock them. I used to lean on the latter, but with what has, and has not been happening, I am begin to like the former.